Away From Her

SAM SHARPE

True story. It’s New Year’s Eve. My crew and me were not only ringing in the New Year, we were also celebrating my cousin T’s birthday. His girlfriend and my girlfriend were like batty an’ bench (that’s like fric and frac  for the non-Jamaican massive). We gathered at my boy Charles’ place for our big bashment. Liquor? Check. Food? Well, there was stew peas, rice and peas, fried chicken, jerk chicken, fried fish, bammy, festival; it was a full on celebration of all things Jamaican. Music? The sound system was heavyweight. Girlfriends? Nowhere to be seen.

For most of our relationship, N and I were inseparable. But for some inexplicable reason things started to change. I don’t know if it was the arguing, the lack of intimacy, the insecurity (hers and mine), our inexperience, or if those things were just symptoms of a greater issue. All I know is that by the time that particular New Year’s Eve rolled around, a night that almost every man wants to spend with the woman he loves, I wanted to be as far away from N as possible. I chose instead to spend it with my boys. Girlfriends not welcome. I didn’t say women weren’t welcome though.

Fast forward a few years and me and T are sitting in my apartment, both single, celebrating his birthday by getting drunk on some Wray & Nephew.

“Yo guy, you remember that New Year’s a few years back,” T said.

“Yeah” I replied.

“Look at us now man, sitting here. Drinking. I wonder what they’re doing now,” he added.

What I didn’t mention earlier, is that on the night of our big New Year’s Eve bash at Charles’ house, while we were celebrating, Vanessa and N were at home – not celebrating.

Although T quickly changed the topic, our memories of the night seemed to linger in the air, mixing with the slightly medicinal aroma of the over proof rum.

We sat there remembering without reminiscing. Though I didn’t know it at the time, the fact that N and I spent that night apart was a clear indicator that my relationship with her was teetering on the brink of collapse, if not already dead. Our relationship limped along aimlessly for another year and a half. By the end it was a corpse and I was a dead man walking.

Now both N and Vanessa are married. They both married the guys they dated right after me and T. I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe in coincidences.

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