The Delicate Art of Spanking

“Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other ’sins’ are invented nonsense.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Spanking is an art form. I like to be spanked, and a well timed, open palm across my withers will often send me over the edge. Past conquests will testify that my “dirty talk” will often go no further than a repeated request to be spanked during doggy or while astride his nether regions. (I’m not much of a talker during the act, I’m musing on whether to improve this skill as part of my 2010 resolutions…)

I’ve already confessed to the netball skirt hanging in my wardrobe, so you would be forgiven for asking if this spanking love affair is a throwback to my school days. However, I don’t think so. I believe it is just a need for a slight sting of discomfit which presents a perfect comparison to orgasmic pleasure. It is the mild pain which offers the frame in which my orgasm is so delightfully set off.

A touch of wasabi on my sushi if you will… (excuse the analogy but it is almost lunch as I write this and I’m hungry.)

In his last post, the F’in Man had mentioned a rather uncomfortable encounter with deep heat – I can’t help but ponder if maybe the intention was to add the spicy relish to their trist. I mean, even Durex are making “sensation” lube, which I think is just deep heat mixed with Vaseline and likely targeted at ex-public school boys.

(I doubt you were, but in case anyone was wondering, Finn has a well timed blow, right on my backside – I don’t even have to ask any more. Heaven.)

So here we have it – I like spanking. Love it, in fact. However, I have never been given the opportunity to return the favour. Is this only a female predilection? Is any chap going to let me spank his backside instead of his monkey?

In my long and arduous research (when I typed “spank” into Google) I found the following guide….

How to spank men:
1) Get beer
2) Get naked
3) Rub the beer on his legs
4) Kick him on the back
5) When he tries to get up, jump on top of him and start spanking

It’s an amusing take on this wonder of spanking, but personally my preference is to ask to spank. (I’d advise any would-be spankers to wait to be asked. The potential price for an unwelcome spanking doesn’t bear thinking about.)

But – taking her in the spirit rather than the letter of the above guide, maybe I could try a bribe system. Perhaps, a gentleman would let me spank him for beer? My “anal access for getting to strap one on and peg him” offer to Finn and a few past lovers has not gone down well, so it doesn’t appear like-for-like sexual favours are always the way to go.

Any suggestions? I suppose I could go with Peter’s earlier role play suggestion for a rugby player…. maybe if I got the chap to dress up in sports outfits I could smack him on his tooshy before he “took the field” and then again when he scored. This might just work. I even have a netball skirt he could borrow.

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