Fear of the Clock

ELIZABETH ROSE

“No man wants to feel that he’s there because of his woman’s biological clock or because he’s filling a job opening for husband or significant other.” – George Weinberg

Many of my nearest and dearest are celebrating milestone birthdays this year. I stopped celebrating my birthday when I turned 21 on the grounds that if I don’t celebrate it, it doesn’t count. As the first digit of their age increments up, I have started to notice a worrying phenomenon….

I refer to this as the fear of the ticking clock.

Let me be clear – I know a few ladies who are under the sway of their biological clock, and those I do know I don’t count among my friends. The fear I am bearing witness to is that of the men in their life.

In our twenties, my fellow sluts and I could always find a welcome pair of arms and a hard cock in a warm bed. Often it would be the same warm bed a few nights running. Now while I never struggle in finding a new encounter, I am discovering a worrying tendency amongst the more regular studs on my rotation: this seems to be an underlying stress that I am trying to date them. Or worse, marry them. A previous possessor of a warm bed and a hard cock set in place a rule for no squelchy noises on sequential nights, and any suggestion of such will result in a week long radio silence.

It seems that these men – while still as willing as ever for a fumble and a tumble – now see a threat in repeating the event too often; that my midnight text for a shag is in fact a well disguised proposal of marriage and serious intent.

It appears that due to some outside inference, gentlemen are under the impression that casual sex can no longer exist for the lady who has turned 21 a few too many times. Where has this strange conjecture come from?

Surely the messages are written in black and white for all to see. Girls who wish to date make this perfectly clear.

• They do not turn up at your door in the small hours of the morning, fuck you and leave.
• They do not suggest threesomes with your pretty neighbour.
• They most certainly aren’t sleeping with a number of other men between your weekly hook ups.
• They will suggest meeting up somewhere other than at your apartment.
• They will call you to talk,
• They will enjoy cuddling,
• They will remember things about you.

The signs are really quite clear – we women aren’t really all that confusing.

Or are we? Are there some girls out there who believe they can snare a future husband without ever leaving the bedroom? Have these ladies scared the men of Toronto into avoiding regular NSA sex because there really is no such thing?

I can’t believe that’s true.

.

The signs are simple, so why once we leave our 20s behind are ladies suddenly all tarnished with the same brush: that all we seek is a boyfriend / husband / father of our children?

I just can’t fathom that there is a significant proportion of women out there who are playing a double game trying to capture their prize through casual encounters. I accept there maybe a few, but this shouldn’t have had such a cultural impact. Is it from movies and TV? Are all these shows documenting our quest for love skewing the perception of us? Do any men even watch these shows? (The Bachelor being a case in point – surely all heterosexual male viewers do so while sat next to their girlfriend)

Any light anyone can shed on this would be appreciated.

Of course perhaps I am reading the signs wrong myself. Maybe I am not being perceived as questing a boyfriend at all during my current peccadilloes; maybe I have just worn them out and they need longer to recuperate than before. (After all, they aren’t getting any younger either!)

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