Heteroflexible Dudes and Straight P***y

SKYE BLUE

While I was trolling around on the internet trying to find info on straight men and anal sex for my IBC post, I stumbled upon the video Dan Savage on Straight Men. In this video he discussed, the fact that the sexuality of heterosexual men is quite limited since the time of the modern gay rights movement (60s and 70s), because after this time what made straight guys straight is not liking or wanting to do anything that girls or gay men like to do. Things like:

• Discussing  or showing their emotions
• Having sensitive nipples
• Enjoying anal sex
• Liking vaginal sex doggie style (since it’s apparently really about ass)

just to name a few.

He also pointed out that girls/women have the freedom to be ‘heteroflexible’. They can experiment with sleeping with other girls/women, even adopt the label of lesbian for a time, and still be considered desirable by men. However, a het guy who  admits sleeping with just one other man or simply being attracted to one is quickly deemed as gay/suspect – the implication being that he is forever undesirable to women.

Listening to Mr. Savage theorize on these issues got me thinking about how I and the people around me play into limiting the parameters of what is considered ‘normal’ sexual behaviour for a straight male. As I mulled it all over, I realized (much to my dismay) that I have a story for my own past that clearly that illustrates the fact that Mr. Savage is on to something.

A while back I connected with a guy I’ll call Hot Boy, because he had boyish good looks and was hot as hell. I loved the way he talked, the way he walked and the way he looked at me. I was into my Hot Boy real bad and he was definitely into me. That said, as electric as our connection was, whenever we were together (in or out of the bedroom) one thing weighed heavily on my mind: I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Hot Boy had a tongue ring.

Now people, I pride myself on being a liberal lady who believes we all have a right to express ourselves the way we want to. And if you had asked me what I thought about men with tongue rings just minutes before I met Hot Boy, I would’ve said something akin to ‘What’s to think? It is what it is.’ But as attracted as I was to Hot Boy the night we met at a local restaurant, when I first noticed his tongue ring I took pause. Lucky for me, I didn’t pause hard enough to not give him my number when he asked for it (because sex with Hot Boy was lovely), but over time I think my totally irrational fear that he might just be a little bit suspect affected how I interacted with him.

You see, whenever I watched his lips move while he talked (he had lovely lips people) and I caught a flash of the metal in his mouth, I felt unsure. Anytime he said ‘Skye, I’m going to catch up with you after I meet up with one of my boys tonight’, that tongue ring made me search for some hidden meaning in his words.  When we were out and he talked a little too long to a good looking male waiter or bartender, I got worried. It was ridiculous (I feel like a complete ass as I write this), but despite the fact that Hot Boy and I had great sex (he knocked it out of the park almost every time, people) and a really good connection, my mind played all kind of tricks on me.

Anyway, like most good things, my connection with Hot Boy eventually came to an end, for reasons too complicated to get into here. But now, after seeing Mr. Savage’s video, I can’t help but think that he might have picked up on my fears and doubts about him while we were together. Which makes me wonder, for better or worse, if I had been brave enough to speak to my fears at the time would Hot Boy and I still be together?

So Ladies (and gentlemen) what are your thoughts on this issue? Why do women have the freedom to switch it up when men don’t?  Will there ever be a time when guys who have experimented with other men will be just as desirable to women as there straighter than straight counterparts? Can an openly ‘heteroflexible’ guy get straight (I mean 100% strictly dickly, y’all) pussy?

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