How soon should you introduce your new “stucky” to your family? I’ve gone back and forth on this one. In my younger days I wouldn’t hesitate to introduce the lady in my life to my siblings and my mother. Collectively these three individuals are my best friends, mi compadres. I depend on them for sage advice. Their opinions matter.
However, the current version of Sam Sharpe, the older and wiser one who’s lived through the dating wars, would sooner join the Ku Klux Klan than introduce a woman to his momma prematurely. Why? Well why is a very long tale, so I won’t share it now. But I will tell you this; it ended in recrimination, tears and changed passwords. I am in no rush to go through anything like that again. (Plus, my extended family is just waiting with baited breath for me to settle down and get married. I do not need to expose myself and a paramour to one of those “when are you gonna squeeze one out, y’know you’re not getting any younger” conversations punctuated with a “what you young people need is a little less fornication and a lot more Jesus in your life”).
Basically, how soon someone introduces a partner to the “fam” depends a whole lot on the nature of the
familial dynamic. I once dated this Filipino chick. She was really into me. I was really into her. Her parents however weren’t really into Jamaican guys. (If you’re scratching your head and asking yourself why, you’re probably living in a bubble. And no, it wasn’t because they didn’t like spicy food). As a result I was initially introduced as her “lab partner”. Looking back on it now, I wonder what they would’ve done if they’d had any inkling of the kind of experiments I was performing on their daughter’s body. (Did you know that the speed with which a girl swallows her boyfriend’s ejaculate is increased exponentially by the sound of her bigoted parents coming up the stairs?)
When it’s all said and done I can’t say that there is a right or wrong time for introducing your new love to your family. I just know it has to happen sometime – assuming both you and your partner have healthy relationships with your respective families. But what I can say definitively is that if you’re avoiding introducing your new flame to your family, sense that you’re being kept away from his/her family, or worse yet you’re both reluctant to hold meet and greets with the parents, there’s a good chance that your budding romance comes with an expiry date.
7 Comments
Comment by Shans — February 12, 2010 @ 9:32 am
My ex, you know the mind-blowing he’s so the one kind of ex that you disillusion yourself into thinking that not meeting his folks is because maybe he loves you too much, never let me meet his parents throughout the entire YEAR we dated.
But the worst part is… the boy had a story for why I couldn’t meet the rentals… something along the lines of, “Baby, when my last girlfriend and I broke up, my Mum cried and she’s still not over the break-up. I want our relationship to be about us… just you and me.” But I bought it because I was in love… and he was so sweet. Well he cheated on me with a chubby chick, with bad hair and now they’re living together… moral of the story – If he’s (or she) not introducing you to his folks he just doesn’t want to.
Since then I’ve decided that if a man doesn’t take me home to meet the Mama bear within 6 months he’s getting his walking papers…
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Comment by Skye Blue — February 12, 2010 @ 9:36 am
@ Shans – two snaps and a hip bump on that one girl. I totally agree with your stance on the introdcution to the rents thing.
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Comment by Shans — February 12, 2010 @ 9:52 am
Two snaps and a hip bump! Bitch’n I feel special. It’s OK though because in the meantime I’m loving the English Rose way of life… you know for every Irish man you sleep with… the pain of the ex gets lighter. Believe it.
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Comment by Sam Sharpe — February 12, 2010 @ 10:18 am
@ Shans
I can’t believe he used a “my momma isn’t over my last break up” excuse. LAME. What, was he trying to spare his mom from experiencing a rebound relationship that her son was having. Again, LAME….on another note….
GO GIRL GO! Fuck the pain away. I’m a true believer in the therapeutic value of sex. I swear I’ve gotten over the grimiest of colds, viruses etc. because of some quality naked time. Not to mention how quickly the b**** who broke my heart simply became a girl I used to date….
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Comment by elizabeth rose — February 12, 2010 @ 10:50 am
@ Shans – There is an irish cock to solve every problem.
But you have given me an idea… perhaps the “Rose Path” to spiritual calm could be a new self-help method. I could see myself as one of those gurus – standing up with my 3 step program addressing a crowd of lost punters… I mean there is an Irish bar in almost every city in the world – I could go global!
In the meantime… chin up, knickers down! xx
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Comment by Shans — February 12, 2010 @ 3:53 pm
@Elizabeth Rose I’d like to be the first to join your program! In fact I say we go global
Aussies, Scots and other beauties need not be excluded!!
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Comment by rur — February 14, 2010 @ 12:26 pm
Thankfully, the fam of mine has always been adopting the open-arms attitude to all the men I took home.
I guess they’re assuming like they put up with me for so long, why not to this poor chap I happen to have relationship with?
I’m lucky in this department.
Well, me with the future-in-laws, that’s another story altogether.
I need a drink now.
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