Readers, I want to let you in on a secret. I have a cyberstalker. He’s a cute and clean cut brunette, with lovely blue eyes and a warm smile. He’s been following me for years, from one online dating site to another, trying to get my attention. I’ve never responded to his IMs, and have even gone as far as blocking him so he can’t send me messages on more than one occasion. When I do, he just regroups and comes back at me with a new profile and name (talk about persistence).
It is clear he’s obsessed with me (though I’m sure I’m not the only woman who is so lucky), but it’s not because I’m particularly beautiful or due to the fact that he thinks we are compatible based on any commonalities in our interests. My cyberstalker keeps coming back for one reason and one reason only – because I am a black woman.
Now, before you get your knickers in a knot let me explain. My cyberstalker has a fetish. He’s a Caucasian male submissive who wishes to be dominated by ‘ball-breakin’ Black woman. How do I know this for sure? Well folks, one of his profile pictures displays the large tattoo on his right shoulder of a woman in thigh high boots holding a whip encircled by the words “I worship black women” (I kid you not!). Although there is never anything on my profile indicates that I would be interested in such a dynamic (whips and leather just aren’t my thing), he seems determined to have me.
Unfortunately, for my would-be sub, my fantasy life does not include any type of domination. The thought of whipping, humiliating or barking orders at anyone simply doesn’t turn me on. Furthermore, the pleading tone of his messages:
“Please give me a chance, I’m begging you.”
“Why don’t you like me?”
“If you go out with me I promise to be a good boy.”
makes my skin crawl. Perhaps I’m strange, but to me there’s nothing sexy about a groveling man.
Readers your thoughts: Have any of you ever had a cyberstalker? Been pursued by someone with a fetish you weren’t into? How many men out there like being dominated by their female partners once in a while or frequently? Are some of you ladies into submissive men? Finally, any Black female doms out there looking for a brunette male sub? I’ve got a cute one I can send your way.
12 Comments
Comment by Rur — January 26, 2010 @ 5:31 am
I jez don’t get the idea of cyberstalking.
But hey I keep finding them on my porch every now and then.
A current grim is connected to me in every online community ever existed and he’s been pestering me since day 1 with enamored thots like “I jez know that you’re the one and only.” and “If you let me see you in person, you’ll see what I mean when I say I love you.”
I’ve never met him in person by any chance and I don’t have any intention to do so.
So I blocked him out and yea, he did find ways to reconnect, sending me emails with level 1 wit writing and sending gross pictures of him jacking off himself.
No I never wanted to know the reason of him stalking around, but I guess those guys are way too blinded with their own fantasies (and blindfolded too, I suppose) they’d never see the vague line between desperate and plain idiocy.
Or has creepy becomes the new cutey?
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Comment by Skye Blue — January 26, 2010 @ 6:09 am
Rur – long time no see!
I’m so glad my dude is not sending me the kind of pics you’ve been receiving – I guess I am luckier than I thought. In any case, as much as I don’t wish our problem on any other woman, it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one with the problem.
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Comment by Ken — January 26, 2010 @ 7:04 am
//one of his profile pictures displays the large tattoo on his right shoulder of a woman in thigh high boots holding a whip encircled by the words “I worship black women” (I kid you not!). //
Dad…?
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Comment by Skye Blue — January 26, 2010 @ 7:46 am
@ Ken – LMAO!
I actually choked on my tea and suspect I even snorted when I read your comment.
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Comment by yardie gal — January 26, 2010 @ 8:47 am
@ rur and Skye
Hmmm…after reading all this I’m torn. I mean what have you two got that I haven’t?
I mean, should I be concerned that I’m not attractive enough to pull a cyberstalker or glad that I’m not receiving nude shots and pleading messages from some dude who’s obssessed with me?
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Comment by Elizabeth Rose — January 26, 2010 @ 11:26 am
Sending cock shots… On sunday I received two pics of a guy from an onlinedating site. It had to be the ugliest damn hard on I had ever seen. Really veiny and almost conical as so wide at base and skinny at top. Not to mention the massive bush of long Ginger pubes. Seriously, trim before taking a snap!
However, I do think us ladies are letting the side down. To keep our end up I’m going to start cyber stalking Ken. (let me know where I can send the pictures)
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Comment by sal — January 26, 2010 @ 12:29 pm
At least he hasn’t photoshopped a family dom portrait of the two of you. Yet.
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Comment by Kate — January 26, 2010 @ 5:14 pm
Oh my goodness! Can you not get some sort of internet restraining order on this guy? He sounds really rather worrying to me. Then again, if he likes to be dominated, maybe if you are really nice to him he’ll get bored and go and try to find someone else to slap his bum and tell him he’s a bad boy. Or he might think you’re finally warming to him and step up his stalking. .. Hmm. I think radio silence is the best way to go!
Kate x
http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com
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Comment by Skye Blue — January 26, 2010 @ 6:07 pm
@ sal – LMAO. If that ever happens I may give up on online dating for good!
@ Kate – sadly my silence doesn’t seem to be a deterrent, but i’m confident that one day he’ll actually find the dom of his dreams and finally forget about me. dare to dream I always say.
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Comment by Rur — January 27, 2010 @ 4:29 am
@ Kate – I might march down the street to campaign internet dating orders, should there be one hahaha.
But then again, like Skye said, I’d prolly jez hope and pray like all good Samaritans, that these guys would just find their bliss somewhere.
Amen.
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Comment by Aunt Juicebox — January 28, 2010 @ 9:11 am
I had a friend in high school who found me on FB, and he started sending me some seriously creepy messages and wanted to meet up because he was “still in love with me.” I was finally kind of mean about it, after glossing over the weird poetry and frequent messages (because in a sad way it was almost entertaining) about the fact the he kept ignoring me telling him I was married. I would have been flattered, I think, if he had been a better speller.
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Comment by Skye Blue — January 28, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
@ Auntie Juicebox – Nothing like poor spelling and grammar to kill what would otherwise be some decent cyberstalking action. Pity.
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