The Power of Five Part 2: A Gentleman’s Guide to Getting More Sex

SAM SHARPE

The feedback from The Power of Five and I Feel Like F***ing has been swift. I’ve been accused of misogyny (Do you even like women?). I’ve been told that I’m a genius. A female acquaintance suggested that I was just another in a long line of folks who suggest that sex is the be all and end all for men. But the most common response from women was,“Yeah, well what about us. We have needs too.” So after much reflection, conversation with my most trusted female friends and even a consultation with Momma Sharpe (Yes, dear friends I discussed the Power of Five with my mother) I would like to introduce you all to the female equivalent to the “Power of Five”.

Gentlemen, I’ve come up with five foolproof steps you can use to achieve total contentment and (sexual) satisfaction in your relationships. Friends, if you really want to reap the benefits of the Power of Five, read and then follow A Gentleman’s Guide to Getting More Sex.

1. Date her – Remember when you first met her. Do you remember how the mere thought of her got you excited? Well, she remembers it too. She remembers how often you used to call her and how excited you sounded just to talk to her. She remembers how a make out session didn’t always have to lead to sex. All those things are stored away in her emotional memory bank.  So every time she talks to you and you sound like you’d rather watch TV (and we all know you’d rather be watching TV) she can tell. If the only time you are affectionate is when you want a little bump ’n’ grind, she’ll soon resent your touch. So, here’s what you have to do:

a) Call her for no reason other than to let her know how much you’ve been thinking about her.

b) Touch her often in non-sexual situations. Link arms when you walk. Massage her feet as you watch television. Don’t just sit there when she rests her head in your lap; play with her hair man!

c) Take her out. It doesn’t have to be expensive. But if every night is spent in the living room, you’re going to have problems.

2. Listen to her – Women often complain that men don’t listen to them. When they say this they are not really talking about the sensory function of listening. What they really mean is we’re not paying sufficient attention to them and the details of their lives. So there are two things that you need to do.

First, when you see her or talk to her ask her how her day was. Was it good? Was it bad? Is that asshole supervisor at work still being a prick?

Second, when she talks you actually need to listen. Not because you are necessarily interested in how great her lunch with her best pal Suzy was, but because it is in these moments when she reveals hidden desires. Here’s what I mean. When we men want to take a trip with our partner we say “Hey honey, I’ve got time off next week, do you want to go Montreal?

Women on the other hand often say something like this:

“Suzy and Paul just came back from Halifax…y’know she said it was great, but not quite as nice as Ottawa. All I kept thinking was Halifax is pretty nice but I’d much rather go to Montreal”.

Translation—Take her to Montreal.

3. Talk to her – Gentlemen, she wants to know about you. Tell her about your day. Tell her about your goals. Tell her about your dreams. These things make her feel close to you, trusted. She feels like part of your life when you tell her about what’s on your mind and what’s in your heart.

4. Be A Man – This one is pretty simple. Women want you to do manly things.  I’m not saying you need to be able to make her a coffee table with your own two hands or change her brake pads, but it helps a lot if you’re self assured, and you can solve problems. Let me give you an example. Once, on a road trip with my girlfriend at the time, my car started to make the most hideous sounds. Now, I don’t know the first thing about fixing cars, but I knew enough to pull over and try to ‘suss’ out the problem. There I was, on the side of the road, underneath my car – in the pouring rain I might add – trying to figure out what the hell was going on. After a few anxious minutes, I figured out what was causing the noise, got on the phone with my brother, Mr. Fix It, who confirmed my diagnosis. With that, I got back in the car and we continued our journey. After a few moments of silence my girlfriend turned to me and said, “That was sooooo fuckin’ hot. I really want to suck your dick right now!”

5. Pamper Her – If you pay attention to points number 1, 2 and 3, then this one will come easily. If she does all the cooking, make her a meal. Send her flowers/chocolate/cookies for no reason. Tell her how good she looks in that pantsuit. Kiss her in the morning before you leave for work. Give her a massage – without expecting sex. If you have kids, offer to take the kids for the night so she can have a girl’s night out.

It’s really simple. All these things are like putting money in the bank. You invest today to reap the rewards tomorrow. If you want her to be a dirty slut at night, she needs to feel like your queen by day. She needs to feel that she is special. And she’s not going to feel special just because you roll over in the morning and poke her in the back with your morning wood. She’s going to feel special because you show her how important she is to you each and every day.

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