Top Tips for Outdoor Affairs

“All good things are wild and free.” – Henry David Thoreau

I have already confessed how much I delight in a bit of outdoor frolicking. (I assume I will find myself followed around Toronto parks by wannabe filmmakers in very near future.) Lately, I’ve had trouble indulging my desire for an outdoor romp, as there are few places in city centres these days which aren’t already on camera. (Big Brother is watching you…)

That said, here are a few tips for you enthusiasts.

Start small. Don’t go full fling in a crowded park straight away. Try doing it up against the windows of your house, on your balcony or in a parked car.
Dress the part. Ladies, this means forgoing the underwear and putting on a skirt. If you are thinking about a sneak event in the office, I recommend flimsy knickers that can be pushed to one side allowing entry without removal and a pair of stockings.
Scout ahead and do your homework! Don’t just whip it out and get it on, or you may find your antics wind up on YouTube via a nearby security camera or that you end up in jail for public nudity.
Play safe. Beyond avoiding STDs, also make sure you aren’t going to injure yourselves. I am no longer as flexible as I once was and will not be climbing trees (again) anytime soon for a quickie.