ELIZABETH ROSE, SAM SHARPE, and SKYE BLUE

We’re finally here folks. It’s time to recap the fourth and final week of Fringe Month 1. And oh, what a week it was…

First up was The F’in Man himself, our boy Sam Sharpe. In his post  I Love Me Some Panties he shared both his love for panties and his general disdain for being asked to don them.

Next, in My Submissive Cyberstalker, I told you all about the adorable, persistent, black woman-worshipping submissive who has been stalking me online for years.

Elizabeth hit you hard mid-week by admitting she has a thing for men’s backdoors – and by thing I mean she wants to get real up close and personal with them. Really she does. Don’t believe our Cambridge educated English rose whose vowels cut glass has such ‘dark’ desires? Then read Fringe in Action for yourself.

Coital Cabaret yet another funny tale by the delightful Elizabeth, that could prove to be helpful to any woman who wants to ensure that the sex tape(s) she films with her bed mates, never see the light of day.

In Fantasy vs. Reality, I shared the story of one of my long time friends, who was hit with a hard reality bitch slap when she chose to fulfill a long time fantasy.

To close out the week Sam Sharpe offered up Careless Whispers, a cautionary tale that highlights the importance of thinking before you speak at all times – yes, even when spewing the dirtiest of dirty talk as you turn your lover out.

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Happy Reading All,

Skye

Guess what kids? Today we’re going to discuss the latest trend among vampire obsessed (and possibly horny) teens and a fetish that appears to be pretty popular among pain lovin’ kinksters (over 61 000 people on fetlife.com are down with getting their kink on in this manner) – Odaxelagnia. In plain English that’s sexual arousal achieved through biting a partner or being bitten.

For the record I’m not a fan of biting – giving or receiving (yes I know, I’m a punk ass) – but it seems that our cultural obsession with vampires is making biting seem like a real sexy thing to do – even with the kids. And my peeps who are into biting point out sinking your teeth into your bed mate or having their teeth sink into your flesh, can be a huge turn on – if done correctly. With that in my mind, I’m going to go ahead and throw up some sexy biting tips I collected from some of my kinky buddies…

Enjoy!

1. Check your technique. You can nibble, do full on biting – with a whole lot of teeth, or just kick it like you’re still in high school and do the hickey thing, which (for my old timers who may not remember) involves both biting and sucking. The choice is yours. Just do what’s comfortable for you – and your mate.
2. Start easy. Always begin by nibbling and then work your way up to harder bites. This is especially important if you’re new to biting and/or you’re trying it for the first time with a new partner. This gives you both a chance to learn the level of pleasure-pain, you can tolerate during your sex play.
3. Have a Safe Word. This is especially important if the two of you are into to really painful bites (you know the kind that may break the skin and sometimes draws blood – generally not recommended, but I’m not here to judge, so go ahead and do you – SAFELY). Having a safe word will make sure you don’t send your partner reeling to new heights of un-pleasure because the pain you’re inflicting is beyond unbearable.
4. Stick to the erogenous zones. Don’t just roll up on your partner and bite his/her ear or forehead like you’re a cannibal looking for your next meal (unless of course you know for sure your mate digs that shit). From what I’ve been told, most people (even those who are really into biting) will find it super un-sexy and you don’t want to turn your kink into konk just as the games begin. So just stick to nibbling on the nape of your lover’s neck, inner thighs or nipples.
5. Keep It Quick…Unless Serious Pain Is What You’re After. If you want to keep real pain out of your biting, then make your bites short and sweet – that’s a few seconds only.  FYI: Longer bites = more pain being registered. So if inducing pain is NOT your goal, make sure your bites keep your bites quick. However, if on the other hand, you and your partner like to bring the pain, then clamping your teeth down on the same spot for a while oughta do the trick.
6. Leave the Growling and Barking to the Animals. Although your partner may love the animal in you in the bedroom, he/she probably doesn’t want you to make noises like one. Virtually every one I spoke to on the subject stressed this point, stating that – NOTHING kills the mood like growling or barking as you bite your mate.  So, people please keep the farm animal noises out of your bedrooms.
7. Never EVER Gnaw. Gnawing is apparently even more unappealing than the animal sounds. So good people, keep your bites crisp and clean (that code for keeping the slobbering to a minimum folks) to prevent your mate from feeling like your dog’s chew toy – yeah, the really old and always soggy one.
8. Pay Attention to Your Partner. Now, if you’re the one doing the biting, don’t get so caught up in what you’re doing that you fail to notice your partner’s reaction. Be sure to listen and watch while you put in work, so you know that your partner is groaning and writhing from pleasure-pain, and not the unbearable kind…unless of course causing your bed mate to suffer is your goal. In which case you need to hunker down and bite his/her whiny ass a whole lot harder. Come on, really put your teeth into it. You want to get laid don’t you?

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And there you have it folks – my eight tips to get your bite on in the boudoir.

Until next time happy biting and as always…

Play safe.

I think finding your kink. Is kind of like finding your G-Spot (for women, I’m still working on the analogy for men). Some women seem to know it from birth, inherent in its qualities. Some ladies doubt its existence, disheartened by time spent searching with no results. And then there’s chicks like me.

We. Are the Christopher Columbuses of Kink.

We are constantly proposing new voyages. Preparing for new excursions.  Always ready to map out some new territory for ourselves. Because after all, we want the world. We want the whole world. I don’t just want a little piece of sexual satisfaction. I want the whole pie. Which sometimes involves a physical exploration of my pie. And other times involves the sorting of my mental laundry basket. Figuring out just what the fuck I like. What I want. What I need. To feel. To think. To be a part of. To be connected to. I have to chart the waters. Conquer the mountains. I have to map this shit out. And that’s what I’ve been doing.

And the thing is. It’s a fucking process. I mean. It’s literally. A Process. In Fucking. And I’m figuring out all the kinks. In my kink. See. I started having sex was I was 18. And back then. It was about power. And feeling hot. And desired. And then I graduated. And for 6 years I was in a committed relationship. And that’s when I really started to test the kinky waters. That’s when I began my journey into the rough seas. But it was still a team situation.  We were co-captains. Me and him. Navigating our way through the kinky deep. And then we broke up.

And that’s when it became about me. Figuring out my kink. Captain, O Captain. I was in charge. Because after all it was just me now. I mean sure enough there were the “somethings” that I was dating. But they weren’t soul mates and I wasn’t attached. And this is my journey. And they are grown men who can take care of themselves. This was new. And it was all about me. So I was exploring. Testing waters. Charting territory. Lush greens there. Return soon. Angry natives there. Do not disturb again. Volcanic eruption on that island. Return with supplies. Land ho! But it’s deserted captain? You’re right. Far too boring on that island. Not a fan of the isolation. Mark it down but move on. And the journey continues.

And this is why, when Skye asked me to write on the topic of “Pain and Pleasure”, I answered with such enthusiasm. Because after all, it’s brand new.  My discovery and navigation through it. Finding my niche within it. And the funny thing is. Though I may still be quite vanilla in my kink. I now know about my vanilla. I know I want high quality. Double churned. Top shelf vanilla. I want Veruca Salt vanilla. I want what I want when I want it. So pay attention boys. Because I’ll only say it once.

Pull.

My.

Hair.

I know. It’s nothing new. It’s not shocking. But it’s important. Because I like it.  Oh. Sigh. How I like it. And what makes it kink. Is that not every chick will like it. Sure there will be lots of others like me who do. And we’ll all be varying degrees on the spectrum. So you have to talk to your lady. Or take baby steps and assess. Baby steps and reassess. And if they’re like me. If they are me. Then go ahead. Because I like it when you kiss me. Tease me. Pull my head away. And hold it. No, not like a little girl in elementary school. Take that man hand of yours. And slide it in under the curls. Close to my scalp. You’re going for pleasurable pain not annoying ouch! Don’t yank. Or jerk. Just pull. Tight.  Close. In control. Show that strength. Control me with those man hands. In missionary. Or from the back. Potentially when my warm mouth is all over that cock (but I’d recommend a double check since this one can be more precarious with us ladies since after all we’re already on our knees).

But I’m telling you this gentlemen. Of this kink I am certain. If you want to make this a repeat experience. If you want to leave me satisfied. If you want a place on my map. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. For the love of pie, Pull my hair.  And if you’re lucky. I might let you be my first mate.

Partaking in pain as pleasure is a personal choice. I like a spanking to frame my orgasm with a short, sharp slap. Others may like something a little more intense and indulge in nipple clamps, beatings, gimp suits and the like. These folks may need a safe word – a word or phrase unlikely to be used in normal sexual conversation that signals a true end to the event. Choosing to use phrases like the obligatory “Oh stop, no, no, that hurts” are unlikely to work, as they are often said during bedroom romps, even when you may not really want your partner to stop.

Being the helpful sort, I have come up with some suggestions for suitable safe words you can use the next time you dabble (I know – I just spoil you)…

1. Maggie Thatcher on a cold day – one to yell at the top of your voice, repeatedly.
2. Hosepipe Ban – something seasonal for the South of England.
3. This is a passenger announcement – nothing more annoying than a travel interruption.
4. The British are coming – yes, we are.
5. Autofrettage – a word that means boring metal tubes; but sounds kind of dirty.
6. Geronimo – the old ones are the best!
7. Gerbils! – urban myth or Richard Gere’s hobby… it can be yours too.
8. Cowabunga – Bart Simpson or Nick Hornby, both worthy to quote.
9. Crouch. Touch. Pause. Engage. – for the rugby fans.
10. Yellow Card – for the sports fans.
11. Your Mum – take the wind out of anyone’s seductive sails.
12. Alright treacle! – in faux cockney accent.
13. Respect my authority – if it works for Cartman…
14. I ain’t getting on no plane – if they can remake the A-Team, I can steal the catchphrases for my sex life.

Those of you who’ve been coming around for a while may remember that week three of Fringe Month 1, was a veritable hodge podge of kink. That week we gave you all a glimpse into our preferences, tastes and curiosity about various fetishes…

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Our man about town, Sam Sharpe, kicked things off right by sharing the fact that during the folly of his youth he failed to oblige two of his past lovers, resulting in some very regrettable Missed Opportunities.

Then he followed up with a post warning us all about the perils of a bout of role playing gone wrong in Don’t Get Burned (both literally and figuratively).

In Why Knot? I broke down the do’s and dont’s, the hows, the whys and the wherefores of bondage.

Next, Elizabeth, our lovely English rose, confessed her love of The Delicate Art of Spanking – both giving and receiving. Unfortunately, to date I don’t believe she’s had any luck finding a man who’s willing to receive. What gives boys? You afraid of a little paddling?

Choosing to stand in solidarity with my sister from another mister, in my post Eureka! I’m a Spanko I too declared my love of spanking, before going on to highlight the physiological reason why a little paddling can lead to a whole lot of pleasure in the boudoir (YUMMY!).

And to close out the week, Elizabeth Rose hit you all with Fantastic Fantasies, in which she urged you all to explore, express and do your utmost to fulfill your deepest and darkest desires.

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So, don’t waste another minute. Hurry up and (re)read these posts. Then get busy role-playing, spanking, hog-tying and fulfilling those fantasies.

Play Safe and Stay Kinky,

S

Which of the following is true?

a. Sam Sharpe enjoys being pegged.

b. Sam Sharpe enjoys being choked.

c. Sam Sharpe enjoys being spanked.

d. Sam Sharpe enjoys being gagged.

______ ended a relationship with me and called me a freak because I asked her to ___________. The fact that she got turned on by the idea of me f***ing other people while she watched or that she used regular household items as dildos or that she loved to receive facials didn’t make her a freak. But my simple request to _______ apparently was enough for her to throw that final parting barb my way.

Two things about this. One, I don’t mind being called a freak. However, I do mind the term freak being used in a pejorative sense. Two, these things really are relative. I mean I was planning to get all self-righteous and blast _______ for being judgmental and then metanotherfrog’s powers that be decided that we were going to talk about breath play. And part of me freaked out.

Breath play? You mean, erotic asphyxiation? I know what you’re thinking. “C’mon Sam, we already know that you’re open minded. You just told us that last week. Plus, after reading this how could you possibly be threatened by a little breath play whether done with a partner or self-administered? And since we know all of this, we’re sure you’re blowing smoke up our ass.” (Blowing smoke up your ass huh? Now that might be something I could get behind.)

Well you’re only half right. It’s not the run of the mill jerkin’ off with a belt around my neck or pounding you while you strangle me that gets me a little nervous. It’s the other stuff that makes me quiver. It’s the less conventional stuff that gives me pause. It’s stuff like this (NSFW). And this (NSFW).

Let me be clear here. I’m not claiming that there is anything wrong with any of these activities. Its just been a long time since a sexual act, behaviour or predilection truly made me a little nervous. And this feeling made me reconsider the ire that I directed at ______ for calling me a freak. Because though I don’t believe in attaching negative attitudes to any person’s sexual tastes and desires, I could relate to her discomfort.

Plus, the more I perused the sights, the more open I became. Now, I’m not likely to ever get all rubbered up and shit, nor am I likely to get aroused by it, but I think I can see how someone else would. And maybe that’s what bothered me most about _______’s words; I mean she didn’t have to be into _______ but she didn’t need to judge either. Oh, and about that quiz, the answer is e. – none of the above. But I’ve got an open mind.

When Skye recently came to me and asked if I’d be interested in writing on breath play my immediate response was yes. And not just a regular yes. But a yes with enthusiasm and gusto. A ‘Hell Yes!’ if you will. And I know what you’re thinking. Is SSD an erotic asphyxiation aficionado? Well, not quite kids.

My enthusiasm stems less from a knowledgeable, expertise, (what’s the opposite of vanilla) standpoint than it does from a recent awesome experience. A recent awesome experience that taught me about how and why I like those man hands around my neck.  But I should tell you now. I’m only barely out of vanilla territory. Actually I’m still possibly in vanilla territory but maybe with some sprinkles or something.

Breath is very important. It keeps you alive, that much is obvious. Take a breath. A breath of fresh air. I can’t catch my breath. Under your breath. Your breath is on fire. I just want to breathe him in. A gasp. A sigh. Hot and heavy. Slow and steady. Breathing is everywhere. It’s generally how I indicate to a fella that I’m having a good time if ya know what I mean. So it seems to follow then that as a woman who likes to give up control in the bedroom…I might want to let someone else take control of one of my most important bodily functions.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a friend. And you could say we were partners in crime. Our “crimes” generally consisted of boys and shenanigans. So clearly story swaps and technique talks were a regular occurrence. During one of our many booty banter sessions. She told me the following.

“Yeah ya know…like…I just whip off the pillowcase and throw it around my neck…and he just kind of holds it…like reigns…while he hits it from the back.”

I thought this to be very interesting. And not one to shy away from something new.  I gave it a shot. Honestly, it didn’t do that much for me. At the time I didn’t really get it.  Later I’d start to understand that everybody needs something different and while the decrease in oxygen may have been enough for her. I required more. I require a story. A fantasy. A reason for the lack of flowing breath into my lungs. A reason for the tension around my neck.

Now before you start picturing me in one of those Law and Order scenes (I may watch too much TV) with extreme asphyxia gone awry. I assure you. I’m still far more of a novice at the sport and my participation is way less dangerous. See for me. It’s more mentally kinky. Than physically. Which, anyone who reads my blog and knows my keen appreciation for science and logic, will know is just about right. Spot on really. Because for me. It’s the why more than the how that’s important.

Now I’m not really going to get into the why (me personally) of the why (the fantasy) that this gets some of us ladies off (and a warning for all you gentlemen out there, because the line is so fragile and not all women even want you anywhere near it, you better ask your lady what she wants before you get your hands all around her neck). But I will just say this. For me. The story line. Is only a fantasy. It’s only fun and hot as long as it remains a fantasy. If you tried to dominate me in everyday life per say, I’d likely tell you to fuck off or simply kick you in the nuts. But in the bedroom. When I’m ready for you to put your hands on me. I want to be dominated. I want to be manhandled. I want to be tossed about. I want to be viewed as so hot that you simply cannot control yourself and must take it all from me. And most importantly (as is the topic of this post). I want it rough. I want your big strong hands around my neck. And I certainly don’t want to have to ask you to do it (that kind of ruins it). I want you controlling my breath (in fantasy). I want you in control completely.

So I say one more time. Before you choke her….talk it out. Because it’s all fun and games until it’s not fun and games. And while Cindy wants a Chokehold, Melanie-Lee may just want to Make-Love. So you better find that shit out first. And even once you’re there. I suggest you take it a little slow and steady at first. Because nothing turns kink into konk (aka FAIL) faster than a bad experience.

“Working at Sh! involves looking after a huge variety of customers – some who are regulars and know exactly what makes them tick, others who have never used a sex toy and are somewhat shy or reserved at first.” – A Sh! Girl

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Welcome to Sh!

Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium was the very first shop of its kind to open in London. Sh!, a sex shop run by women, for women was founded in 1992. The mission was simple: to create a safe, welcoming environment in which women can shop guilt-free for good quality playthings.

The knowledgeable and friendly Sh! Girlz aim to make information about sex accessible to all, old or young of whatever sexual persuasion, background or culture.

Sh! were the first to launch the ‘Jessica Rabbit’ well before it debuted in ‘Sex and The City’, and the founder Kathryn Hoyle has been a regular spokesperson for the shop, promoting the ethos behind the store and the brand.  She has even been to 10 Downing Street to attend an Aids Awareness event.

Sh! set up its very own research and development department, and works with many National Health Service trusts offering advice and help on women’s gynecological care.

Sh! hosts a variety of different nightly events at their London store ranging from workshops, art and photography exhibitions, literary readings and much more.

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The Sh! Difference

The key thing that makes Sh! different from all other sex shops, is the warm and friendly welcoming you receive upon entering the shop. After you’ve been offered a cup of tea, you will be looked after by one of the Girlz, who will provide you with the kind of attentive and exclusive assistance you wished every shop offered. And the best bit is that you can do all this without having to worry about any men being in the to check out your purchases! ( Sh! welcomes Gents into the shop only if they are accompanied by a woman.)

The staff at Sh! do their utmost to ensure that each and every customer  leaves their shop with the products and resources they need to enhance their sex lives. Renee, the Store Manager, shared the story of one such customer recently.

‘Only the other week we had a recently divorced lady in the shop who had never experienced an orgasm and never used a toy in her life. After plenty of time in the shop with one of the Sh! Girlz she left with a new toy, a book and plenty of advice and confidence. Two days later I received an email from her telling us that we had literally changed her life and she felt like a woman again. This is so typical of a Sh! customer and exactly what makes our days here so rewarding.’

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Just Another Day at Sh!

A normal working day it is not! With deliveries of vibrators, stunningly sexy lingerie, books and other toys, working at Sh! this is not for the faint hearted. But the beauty of Sh! is that the staff takes all of this in stride, because they love working in the shop; and as a result, all their customers love shopping there. It really is a beautiful pink private haven of classy fun.

In the evening, the spanking class which is run by Renee is usually offered at the shop, although they often have literature reading nights hosted by various erotic authors, or other lessons on bedroom antics that are literally booked out each week.

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Coming Soon… A New Sh! Store in West London

Look out ladies of West London – Sh! will be opening on your doorstep very soon, and will bring with it all the charm, class, fun and adventure that East London has been enjoying for the last decade. You will soon see what you have been missing out on. In the meantime visit their website at www.sh-womenstore.com.

Metanotherfrog.com will be interviewing Kathryn Hoyle at July 22nd launch of Sh! West London store. Check back at the weekend to find out more from behind the scenes of a sex shop.

This week it’s all about Breath Play, and I’m here to start things off by telling you a bit about Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation or AEA…

So What is AEA exactly?

Well dear readers, AEA is:

1. The practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating.
2. A fetish that is considered to be one of the greatest and most dangerous sexual taboos, primarily because it is practiced alone and is usually a carefully guarded secret.
3. A highly addictive method of masturbation that induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state called cerebral hypoxia. Combined with orgasm, the rush is said to be as powerful (if not more so) than taking a hit of cocaine.

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The Physiology of AEA:

Both the carotid artery, which carries blood to the brain and the jugular vein which carries blood back to the heart pass through your neck. When these vessels are constricted carbon dioxide builds up in the brain, and creating a narcotic effect. Combining that effect with an orgasm may trigger the release of dopamine, which in turn intensifies the feeling of euphoria.

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Although AEA only pops up in the news when a celebrity dies as a result of what is usually reported as a suicide or ‘solo sex game gone wrong’ – as was the case for Micheal Hutchence, David Carradine and Kristian Digby – AEA is a much more common method of masturbation than most might think. According the FBI’s estimates, this fetish, which has been around since ancient times (there is evidence that the practice was known to ancient Mayans in Mexico), is responsible for 500-1000 deaths/year (mostly men, though women also perform AEA) in the US alone. Some experts believe these estimates are quite conservative because many AEA deaths are labeled as homicides or suicides by police and family members, to conceal the ‘unsavoury’ truth.

AEA is usually discovered as a method of masturbation when young adults start experimenting on their own. Many who stumble upon the practice, which eventually becomes a fetish, after becoming familiar with the thrill of the high of dizziness created by playing the choking game or similar activities. The problem is that the intense highs reached when performing AEA are so addictive that individuals, who choose to masturbate this way, are at risk of falling into a pattern of chasing the heightened the orgasmic experience (much like a junkie seeking out his/her next hit), as well as the psychological thrill they get from performing such a dangerous activity. Often, in order to reach increasingly intense orgasms, the risk level of their activities will escalate; which also increases the possibility for fatal accidents.

And even for the lucky ones who don’t die, depending on how long their bodies are deprived of oxygen, brain damage could still occur. Persons participating in AEA also risk lacerating, cutting, or bruising their necks, depending on the suffocation or strangulation techniques used. The more common ways of carrying out the practice are self-hanging, strangulation, choking, suffocation and other techniques that restrict breathing. Notably, self-hanging is usually the method observed among fatal cases.

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If after reading all of the above you’re still one of the seemingly growing number of people interested in experiencing the orgasmic highs achieved through AEA, I’d like to suggest (since I firmly believe that there is no orgasm so good that it’s worth risking death for – but I’m also extremely risk averse, so what do I know?) that you start by trying safer options like trying tantric breathing and gas masks and/or choosing to engage in gentle breath play with a partner (one who knows what he or she is doing!) first.

And if you’re looking for like minded folk to connect with or for information from people in the know about AEA, choking or any other type of breath play and you don’t know where to look, here’s a tip. Check out fetlife.com, sign up and then join one of the discussion groups (they’re literally hundreds of discussions on virtually every type of kink under the sun) on the fetish of your choice.

Until next time…

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Breathe and Play Safe!

Voyeur:

1. A person who derives sexual gratification from observing the naked bodies or sexual acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.

2. An obsessive observer of sordid or sensational subjects.

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Mademoiselle Richard. I was in grade four. She was my French teacher. She had curly locks that wove around her face and her cheekbones like climbing roses on a trellis. I am convinced that her lips inspired the word “rouge”. They were so…rouge. She loved plunging necklines and pencil skirts. She always, always wore several bangles on her left wrist. I hated French. But I loved French class.

One spring afternoon we were conjugating verbs or some other nonsense and while my classmates were dutifully scribbling in their notebooks I was observing the way that her perfectly formed bottom was being caressed by the oh-so-lucky fabric of her skirt as she wrote on the chalkboard. When she turned to address the class I couldn’t help but watch her lips form words and imagine tasting them. And then my gaze started to follow the outline of her collarbone that was left exposed by her sweater….

That’s when it happened. The firming in my pants. It wasn’t the first erection I’d ever had. But I think it was the first time I intellectually made the explicit connection between the feminine form and my sexual arousal. I squirmed in my seat. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I wanted to do it with her.

This arousal was preempted by fear the moment Mademoiselle Richard asked me to come to the front of the class and finish conjugating the verbs on the chalkboard. Every boy knows what happens next. The guilty, shuffled steps. The clumsy attempts at hiding the “issue” with a textbook or folded hands. The feelings of utter shame.

All these years later, very few experiences come close to matching the charge that ran through my body when I first realized what watching the female form could do to me. What watching in general could do, how powerless it could make me feel. How at any moment gazing upon a snatch of female flesh could turn me into mush.

I’m sure you can all relate. If not, we at metanotherfrog.com have got you covered. During our first Fringe Month we covered Voyeurism and Exhibitionism from multiple perspectives. If you missed it, take another look and see just where you fit in.

Sam Sharpe aka The F’in Man

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To See and Be Seen

Let’s Play Outside

Lights! Camera! Action!

Group Action Makes Me Hot

Top Tips For Outdoor Affairs

Voyeur or Exhibitionist